siddhartha saha dot net

Today I am a bit depressed… and suddenly I remembered a poem that I had found in the net while I was in the first year @ IITK.

I’ve Learned

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your live, but who you have in your life that counts. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes, after that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I’ve learned that it’s not what happens to people, it’s what they do about it. I’ve learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you’ll see them. I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I’ve learned that there are people, who love you dearly, but just don’t know how to show it. I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgive by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other and just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that writing, As well as talking, Can ease emotional pains. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe. I’ve learned to love and be loved. I’ve learned.

Omer Washington

Well.. enough sentimental stuff :). It is time to kick some Martian Zombies’ A**….

Do you ever feel that certain events just repeats in your life? The times change, the places change, circumstances change, people around you change… but even in the new settings, some old chain of events starts, and you are powerless to stop it from happening, even if you wanted?

(BTW, I am not drunk, I don’t drink)

I think this is happening to me, and it is painful. Why do people have to change so much?

I have been somewhat irregular with the blog for the last few days. Thinking of an excuse… what would that be? Well, I started working a bit these days. Yesterday I went looking for my PS2 (remember, the rendering competition… no? oh well).. and after a few emails here and there, a few knocks on even fewer doors, it seems that there is a bright chance for me to have it by next week.

So what did I do last couple of days? Worked a lot on a research problem in which I am beginning to think progress is nearly impossible. I had a meeting with my advisor today, and after that I have some more ideas which I will pursue in the next few days.

Thats more or less all for academics. Other than that, I watched a bollywood flick (few months old) “Saadi Ka Laddoo”. What am I turning into? The people who knew me in my pre-IITK and IITK days, would know Siddhartha and Usual Masala Bollywood Flicks don’t go hand in hand. But look at me now – voraciously devouring any movie that comes along. Whatever, I like this change. Even though this movie was a stupid one, it certainly made me laugh a number of times – and that made the 2.5 hours worthwhile. Actually more than worthwhile, because even a simple thing like “laugh” (not ‘love’ by the way… that has its own story) is gradually (I feel) slipping away from my life.

Last but not the least: DooM. I have been playing it more or less daily… for morr or less one hour/one-and-a-half hour. Usually it had 20+ hours of playtime, but I am playing really slow. I should be able to finish it by the end of this week. Today I entered Delta Labs, and left it there. I will play later…..

This week passed really fast, before I even realized it. Just last week I had such a nice time, renting a car and all. The suddenly another week came and gone. Life has settled into a lazy routine.

This weekend I have watched two movies. The first one is the recently released Collateral. After watching the trailer, I thought that it would be a regular action oriented movie, but I was wrong. There were hardly any action sequences at all. The movie started kind of slow. I usually get bored with long conversations in a movie, but somehow the conversations in this one kept me listening throughout. I found Tom Cruise’s somewhat ironical comments good enough to enjoy. Moreover, it was also nice to see Tom Cruise, who usually plays the heroic action/romantic lead, play a different kind of role altogether. The movie did not leave any marks, but definitely a one time watchable one.

The second one was a rather old one – The Secret Window. This is the first time we used the “Movies on Demand” on the Time Warner Digital Cable that we have. But I am too sleepy now to write a review (nobody would read anyway… so what’s the point… it is just that I don’t have anything to do, so I spend time like this)…maybe I would write one tomorrow. I am tired, after spending over one hour in gym, I, on a sudden impulse, went swimming at 21:00. I am totally burnt out now…. I just need to lie down and get a sound sleep. No more Doom or Star Wars tonight….